For your personal and professional relationships to thrive, you must set and establish boundaries. Boundaries are a way of letting people know how far they can go with you in terms of communication and financial and emotional support. If you have trouble setting boundaries, here are four tips to help you draw the line with confidence.
Define your desired boundaries
The first step of setting boundaries requires a little introspection. Take some time to investigate what boundaries are lacking in your relationships with your friends, family, and colleagues. Think about any situations that made you feel uncomfortable in the past and what might have caused that. Emotions such as anger, frustration, and overwhelm can help you uncover when, where and with whom to set boundaries.
Use your values as a guide
Your boundaries need to be in line with your personal values. When setting boundaries, identify the most important values to you and reflect on how they are challenged or poked in a way that makes you uncomfortable. For example, if you value your time for religious expression, then your boundary should be to never work during service times.
Start small
If you don’t have many boundaries in place, introducing too many at a time can be overwhelming. It is best to build them up slowly, one at a time, to give yourself enough time to adjust. This will also allow you to reflect on how things are going and give you a chance to make changes where necessary. Setting boundaries can cause you anxiety, especially in the beginning, so be patient with yourself.
Speak up
Communication is critical when setting boundaries. Once you start implementing your boundaries, inform your friends, family, and colleagues what you will tolerate and not tolerate in your life. This discussion need not be confrontational; you can be assertive while remaining respectful. Remember, establishing boundaries will take time, so don’t be surprised if you have to reiterate information.
If you’re experiencing relationship issues and are looking for a registered psychologist in London to help you set personal boundaries, get in touch to arrange a consultation.
