Are you always trying to make a good impression so that others may like you? You may have what we call people-pleasing behaviour. Unfortunately, this tendency can be emotionally draining because it doesn’t let out your true self. So, you will struggle to fake your character to fit into a particular group out of fear of rejection. As a people-pleaser, you will never be satisfied with yourself.
Perhaps you are a people pleaser, and you don’t know yet. Below are some telltale signs:
• Saying yes to almost all requests
• Agreeing with just about anyone
• Waiting for praises to feel better
• Feeling guilty when someone is angry with you
• Acting like everyone around you
• Conflict avoidance and inability to speak your mind
• You are always the first to apologise
• Your schedule is determined by others, not you
Here’s how to stop trying hard to impress others
You will never attain your full potential if you try to make everyone happy. Follow these guidelines to be yourself and live the best life.
1. Change your yes to no
A people-pleaser believes that turning down someone else’s demand makes them selfish or uncaring. However, saying no to your co-worker, spouse, or friend protects you and earns you more respect. You should only assist without being coerced. After all, why should you do things you don’t have to?
2. Take a stance
Don’t be afraid to express your opinion and be very assertive. This health behaviour change will improve your self-esteem.
3. Know that failure is not the final judgement
Take your failures as opportunities for self-development. That’s the best attitude to learn more. If you failed to communicate appropriately, think about ways to come to a mutual understanding instead of beating yourself up.
Dangers of people-pleasing
There’s a danger of overkill if you’re constantly trying too hard to impress people. It means you want their approval, thereby portraying yourself as needy. While it makes sense to please your boss, your subservient behaviour can backfire. If you don’t stop it, your relationship with others might change to co-dependence rather than interdependence. In extreme cases, you could get yourself into an abusive relationship. The aftermath is self-starvation and low self-confidence that culminates in an unfulfilled life.
If you are struggling with a people-pleasing habit, an expert in health psychology can help. Seek professional guidance to build mental strength and start living your desired life.
